


Dream a Little Dream of Me

by Little_oblivion



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Cheating, Child Marriage, Cults, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Forced Marriage, Friends With Benefits, Head Injury, Heartbreak, Idiots in Love, Mistaken Identity, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polygamy, Prompt Fic, Religion, ali tries to kill tobin, concussion, fear of losing someone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2020-11-22 11:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20873687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_oblivion/pseuds/Little_oblivion
Summary: A collection of Krashlyn one shots.





	1. Some Rain Must Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This first one short is is set in a post-zombie apocalypse world. Major angst, and character death.

The storm clouds were rolling overhead, dark and angry. The air was heavy with the threat of rain, pressing on my body from direction, making my head throb. Or at least that’s the lie I was telling myself, not wanting to accept that it probably had more to do with the guilt building up in my chest.

My only thought had been to get Ali somewhere safe. She couldn’t be out on the street, not with an open wound. They would smell it and come for us. No, the better bet was to take what shelter we could, no matter how pathetic it might be.

Who knows how long this car had sat abandoned in the gloom behind the gas station? I could only be glad that the doors were unlocked and the windows intact. If it did finally rain, this would keep us dry in addition to hopefully keeping us safe from the undead roaming the streets.

“Ash…” I turned in my seat to look at where Ali was huddled against the cracked leather seat. Her face was pale, her brow glistening with sweat but I didn’t know if it was merely from the heat or pain that she wasn’t telling me about.

“What, baby?” I reached out to smooth her hair back.

“I… what do you see out there?”

I turned back to my original activity, scanning the quickly darkening landscape, trying to see any dangers that could be coming towards us. “Nothing. Nothing but the wind.” A few exploratory drops splattered against the window. “The wind and the rain,” I corrected.

“We did the right thing,” she rasped.

I retired from my post at the window, accepting that even if there was something out there, there was nothing to do but stay where we were. I settled into my seat and took her hand. “What do you mean?”

“We were right to leave. He was… we couldn’t trust them.” We had spent nearly a month with a group of other survivors, and it had been nice at first, having someone to cover our backs. But in the last couple days, we had felt the self-proclaimed leader of the group slowly seizing more power: demanding to know everyone’s locations and actions at any given moment, rationing out food, even going as far as to hit one of the younger survivors, a kid that was barely eighteen, when he started asking questions. We’d made the decision to leave and had ended up paying dearly for it.

“If we had stayed, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

“Someone would have gotten hurt eventually. Neither one of us… handles bullies very well.” She took a shuddery breath, adjusting the arm she had wrapped around her stomach. “I’d rather be bleeding here with you, than be stuck there.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I thought you said it had stopped bleeding.”

“I’m fine, babe.” Thunder cracked overhead, making me flinch, and the heavens opened with a torrential downpour.

“It’s really coming down, now.”

“Since… with the noise, do you think we could turn the car on? Surely they won’t hear…”

“I didn’t see any keys when we got in.”

She squeezed my hand and gave me a teasing, albeit tired smile. “You went through your big, bad, troublemaker phase and never learned how to hotwire a car?”

I chuckled. “I saw my brother once, but I never did.”

“Try. Please.” Her tongue darted out, moistening her lips.

“Okay.” It took several tries, but eventually I got the right combination of wires to make the engine splutter to life. I switched on the air conditioner, turning it up high. I sat for a moment directly in its path, rejoicing in the cool air on my skin, before returning to the backseat.

“See… I told you that you could.”

“I figure tomorrow we’ll set out. Maybe we’ll head south? I don’t which way…” I trailed off.

“Can you find something on the radio?”

“So needy,” I teased, but leaned forward to do what she asked. It was primarily static, just further proof of how desolately alone we were, but after fiddling around I found a channel playing jazz classics. I settled back into my seat.

“’M cold,” she whispered.

“How? From me turning on the AC?”

“Been cold,” she shrugged, the movement making her hiss and clutch more at her side. She shuffled over slowly, her movements both jilted and sluggish, until she was laying across the seat, her head in my lap. I began to drag my fingers through her hair but stopped when I felt just how clammy her forehead was.

“Tomorrow… we’ll find help. Even if we have to go back, we’ll-”

“Ash…” Her voice was quiet. I reached down, gripping the hem of her stained tank top in my shaking hand, and slowly pulled it up. Underneath I found the makeshift bandage wrapped around her slowly soaking with blood.

“Al… Ali oh my god…”

“Babe.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She reached up with her other hand, brushing her knuckles along where my cheeks were dampening with tears. “What could we do?”

“Ali…”

“Talk… tell me stories.”

I turned my head, pressing a kiss to her hand. “What kind of story?”

“Stories about us… happy stories. Silly.”

“I don’t… I can’t think of any happy stories,” I gasped, trying to push down my tears but failing.

“The time… at the beach with Logan… she was such a good girl.”

“The best girl,” I agreed. “Do you remember the time we went hiking with Alex? And we stopped to rest and the beetle crawled on her leg? She screamed and screamed.”

Ali gave a wheezing chuckle. “Kept shaking her legs…”

I nodded, pretending like I couldn’t hear her breathing getting more labored. “She said that we were bad friends because instead of helping we just laughed and laughed. And when we got home, all three of us ended up with poison ivy.”

“Jill was… so mad at us.”

I sniffed, wiping at my cheeks. “But we’d had a great time, so we didn’t care.”

We lapsed into silence, watching each other as we listened to the storm mixing with the music crackling through on the radio.

“I know… this song. ‘S on a video game you played.”

I stopped and really listened. “It’s Ella Fitzgerald, I think. It’s probably from… Fallout, I imagine.”

Her hand grabbed onto my tee shirt, dragging my focus back down to her. She was staring hard at me, as if making herself pay attention. “Ash… you are the great love… of my life. D’you know that?”

I forced myself to make a joke. “You mean not Brent?”

“You saved me. Every day. Made life… something worth living.”

“Not this time,” I gasped, the reality of it truly hitting me. “I don’t think I can save you this time.”

“In the morning… gotta go. Get… outta here. Go far, where you’ll be safe.”

“I’m not leaving you,” I insisted hotly. I pressed my hand tightly against her side to try and stop the bleeding, the hot blood merely seeping through my fingers

“Ash… I’m leaving you, I think. And I’m sorry. But don’t feel sad for me. My worst fear was always dying alone.”

“And what do you call this?” I gestured around angrily with my chin.

“With you, I could never be alone,” her voice was fading further. “Being in your arms is all I can ask for.”

“I don’t… I don’t know how to live without you.”

“You’re strong. I’ve always, always love… loved that about…” Her eyes fluttered shut, her head rolling slightly to the side.

“Ali. Ali, please! Ali… I love you. I’ve loved you for so long… Please.” But she didn’t move. I slowly pulled one hand away from her side, pressing my fingers to the pulse point I had spent so many long nights kissing and worshipping. There was nothing there to feel.

The sobs falling from my mouth sounded inhumane, as if it was caged animal trapped in the car, but it was just me. Just me.

I couldn’t make myself let go of her, instead cradling her closer as I wept, the strains of the radio faintly reaching my ears, Ella crooning away about her own heartbreak from another speck of the universe.

_‘Some folks can lose the blues in their heart_

_But when I think of you another shower starts_

_Into each life some rain must fall_

_But too much is fallin' in mine.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post by whump-by-amy: Bleeding out in the back seat of an old car in the parking lot of an abandoned gas station - music spilling out crackly and staticky from the radio while blood spills through the whumpee's hands...
> 
> Please feel free to leave me inspo in the comments, whether it be complete prompts, a setting, a piece of dialogue, a song to listen to, anything!


	2. Benefits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn Harris is perfectly content being just friends with benefits with Alexandra Krieger, thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend told us this story last night at Girls' Night and it had us dying, I had to turn it into a Krashlyn oneshot, it's just too perfect. And look! Some funny fluff! Who would have thought?

What had started with us drunkenly stumbling to Alex’s room in the Kappa Kappa Gamma house after a kegger had turned into a very nice friends with benefits situation. It had been six months and it was going great. We were having mind blowing sex while enjoying the freedom of not being in a relationship. And I was doing just fine! It was great! It wasn’t as if I had accidentally caught feelings for her, waking up wishing she was in my arms, wondering what it would be like to take her out on a proper date.

I wasn’t in love with Alexandra Krieger at all.

I leaned my head on my hand as I stared out across the pool, gleaming under the California sun, and wondered how I had managed to get myself into this situation. It’s not as if I hadn’t done the noncommittal thing with girls before, and there hadn’t been much of a problem.

But they hadn’t been Alex.

“Two Gatorades, please.” I straightened up and grabbed two bottles from the fridge beside me, placing them on the counter.

“That’ll be four dollars.” I took the kid’s cash and put it in the cash box beside me, content to go back to my daydreaming about a certain pair of tiger eyes.

“Yo Harris!” One of my fellow lifeguards, Jeremy, dropped into the chair beside me.

“What’s up, dude?”

“Not much. When are you off?”

“Six.”

He nodded. “Nice. Hey, do you know a girl named Alex?”

I laughed. “I mean, I know a lot of girls named Alex. You’re gonna need to be a little more specific.”

“Alex… long dark hair, tall, incredible body, sorority girl, majoring in Political Relations…”

“You mean Public Relations?”

He shrugged. “That sounds right.”

_Oh, I know her all right. _“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Oh, well I matched with her on Tindr, you’re in one of her pictures.”

My heart stuttered in my chest, then broke in half. He had to be joking, surely, _surely, _Alex wouldn’t be so cruel as to not only be actively searching for other people on dating apps, but be using a picture of us while she did it. _Did I mean absolutely nothing to her? Was I seriously nothing more than a good fuck? What the hell?!_

I took a deep breath. He had to be wrong. She wouldn’t. Alex wasn’t like that.

“Oh… So are you guys messaging, or…?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah! Well, we’ve been texting back forth for like a week and a half. But we met up this weekend for dinner and it was really great! She was sweet and funny, and then afterwards… well don’t tell her I was kissing and telling or anything, but she invited me back to the Kappa house afterwards…” He gave her a wide grin. “We had a nice time.”

I was going to be sick. No, I was going to cry. I was going to do both, or possibly pass out. I had asked her to hang out this weekend and she had claimed she had too much homework, that she needed to cram for a test. _Oh it sounds like someone was cramming alright, just not you. _I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get a handle on myself. _She’s not your girlfriend. She can do whatever she likes._

But then the aching hurt spreading through my body was turning into red hot anger. How dare she, how fucking dare Alex toy with my heart like this, make me fall in love with her while she’s bringing back random ass dudes to fuck at the sorority house.

“And uh… where was her roommate?” I ground out, hoping against hope that this was somehow a huge misunderstanding.

Jeremy gave a half hearted shrug. “I think she said Meg was visiting her family?”

That sealed it. Kling was out of town, something that rarely happened since she was from Pittsburgh, Alex had the room to herself, and instead of inviting me over she went out with fucking Jeremy.

_This is what you get for falling in love._

“That’s great, Jeremy,” I deadpanned. I pulled my phone out, knowing that if one of the managers caught me with it out, I’d get written up, but not giving a shit. I pulled up my conversation with Alex.

**‘Jeremy says hi.’ **I jabbed send. I couldn’t believe she did this. And that she was using a picture of us on her goddamn Tindr!

My phone vibrated.

**‘Uh…. Who’s Jeremy? Lol’**

**‘Don’t play dumb w me, Alex’**

**‘Ash, what are you talking about?? Who is Jeremy? Are you mad at me??’**

I scoffed. Oh, so that’s how she was going to play this? Pretend to be little Miss Perfect who’s done nothing wrong when in fact she’s broken my heart?

“Hey Jeremy, can I see the picture she has of us on her Tindr?”

Sure, dude.” He pulled out his phone and opened the app, handing it to me.

I braced myself for a second, not wanting to see a picture of us where I was obviously in love with her on the app she was using to meet other people, then glanced down.

My heart dropped into my stomach.

“Jeremy… This is Alex Morgan.”

He looked at me like I was an idiot. “Um… yeah?”

Everything suddenly clicked into my mind. My Alex, Alexandra Krieger, was a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma. One of her good friends in the house also happened to be named Alexandra, and also went by the very common nickname of Alex. To avoid confusion in the house, my Alex had started going by Ali, and the other Alex went by Morgan. That’s how I had been introduced to her, that’s how I referred to her in my mind. But when she wasn’t with the Kappas, _of course _she reverted back to her original nickname of Alex, just like my Alex did with me.

And Alex Morgan, just like my Alex, was tall with long dark hair and a killer body.

And her roommate, Megan Rapinoe, was a California native, so it would make sense that she was visiting her family and not Meghan Klingenberg, Ali Krieger’s roommate.

There was no reason that Alex Morgan wouldn’t use this picture of us on her Tindr profile. It had been taken when I helped out with their Valentine’s Day brunch and objectively, it was a great picture of her, there was no reason she shouldn’t use it on her Tindr profile.

And, if I racked my brain hard enough, I seemed to remember that Alex Morgan was majoring in something political. Not Public Relations like I had corrected Jeremy.

Oh my fucking God.

I glanced back down at my phone.

**‘Ashlyn’**

**‘Ash what is going on? Who tf is Jeremy?’**

I took a deep breath, a very sheepish grin creeping onto my face.

**‘I… might have fucked up’**

**‘What is going on?’**

**‘It turns out… That one of my coworkers went on a date with Morgan this weekend. Apparently they had a really great time!’**

**‘What?’**

I took a deep breath. “Jeremy, do you think you could cover for me? I… I think I just majorly messed up, and I need to go put it right before it’s too late.”

He nodded, his eyebrows furrowed. “Sure. Everything alright?”

I gave my head a slight shake. “We’ll see.”

When I knocked on the Kappa Kappa Gamma door, it was opened by a very confused Alex Morgan.

“How did you know I went out with Jeremy?”

“We uh… we work together. He saw me on your profile and… anyway, can I talk to Alex- er, Ali?”

She stepped back and let me in. “You know where her room is.”

I found Alex at her desk. She flipped her textbook shut when I knocked on the door. “What the hell, Ash?”

I took a seat on her bed and slowly explained everything. She listened as I did, a smile slowly finding its way to her face.

“Wait… were you jealous?” She came and sat beside me.

“No,” I mumbled.

“I think you were.”

“Well how would you like it if someone that you loved was using your picture to pull in dudes on Tindr?”

Her face softened. “Loved?”

I froze. “I… Sorry. I’m… I’ll go, I’m sure you’re busy, you have homework-”

She grabbed my arm as I tried to stand up, keeping me next to her. “You like me?”

“Well I mean, yeah,” I rolled my eyes. “I obviously do, or I wouldn’t have been able to agree to the friends with benefits thing. I just… I know we agreed to keep it no strings attached, I know that’s what you want, I wasn’t expecting to catch feelings for you, it just happened. But I won’t bring it up again, I can-”

But just then, Alex thankfully cut off my rambling with a kiss. It was one of those kisses that leaves you a little punch drunk, barely able to think, let alone speak.

“Ashlyn. I like you too. I thought that… I didn’t say anything because I thought you were happy with the arrangement we had. But I… I like you a lot. I’m not using a picture of us on Tindr to meet people because I don’t have a Tindr. Because I already met someone really special, and I was making myself be content with whatever she was willing to give me.”

This time I kissed her, my hand coming up to tangle in her hair before pulling back. “Are you saying we could have been dating this whole time if one of us had just had the balls to say it out loud?

“We’re idiots.”

“But I’m your idiot. At least as long as you want me.” She didn’t answer, merely pulling me in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me prompts/inspirations in the comments!


	3. Out Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali always says her worst fear is dying alone, but that's not exactly true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt from Lexa_is_alive: "what about a prompt where ali's worst nightmare is ash hurting herself on the field and one day this nightmare becomes too real when ash's head hits the post after colliding with another player and she loses consciousness or something like that. you can play around with the prompt as you see fit." I hope I did it justice!!!

I’ve always told people my worst fear was dying alone, but that’s not quite true. It had been, for the majority of my life, but that changed the moment I realized I was head over heels in love with Ashlyn Harris. From then on, my nightmares went from being buried alive, or being in a car wreck out in the middle of nowhere where no one could find me, to visions of something happening to her.

It wasn’t hard to imagine the scenarios: This was after all Ashlyn Harris, professional footballer and all-around bad ass. Sometimes without warning my stomach would tie itself in knots, consumed with thoughts of her taking a bad tackle during a game, or hitting a rough current while surfing, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and some cruel twist of fate robbing me of the one person that kept me tethered to Earth. But when that happened, I would simply seek her out, her warm voice and the dimple in her smile easing my fears, assuring me I wasn’t alone.

It had been a cutthroat game from the moment the ball was dropped into play. Portland was out for blood, and we weren’t any better. What started off a little handsy had devolved until multiple yellows were given out, both teams dragging players away when they tried to start altercations.

But we were up, 1-0. There was only 12 minutes left in play and I was starting to feel cautiously optimistic. We had a good team, objectively we had some of the best players in the world. There was no reason why we shouldn’t be able to win this game. Yes, the Thorns were good, but so were we.

Tobin was streaking down the field, and I saw the pass that was coming but there was no way to get there in time. By the time the ball touched her feet she was already dodging around Alanna and headed towards Ash. It was difficult because I knew they were both such amazing players; of course I wanted Ashlyn to come out on top, but I knew that if anyone on this field could rocket one past her, it was Tobin.

Tobin took her shot, and Ashlyn just managed to deflect it into the bar. But this left both of them to scramble for the loose ball, desperation written on both of their faces. And I was absolutely helpless as I watched Tobin’s knee collide with the side of Ashlyn’s head.

To her credit, when Tobin got to her feet and turned towards the goal, she immediately stopped, motioning to the ref. Because Ashlyn was still laying on the ground, and she wasn’t moving.

My feet were carrying me towards her before I could comprehend that I was moving. I got there before the ref or any of the trainers, dropping to my knees beside her.

“Ashlyn. Ashlyn!” But my girlfriend didn’t answer. And it wasn’t one of those times where she was holding her head, teeth gritted against the pain. No. She was sprawled on her back, eyes closed, arms and legs askew. I brought a hand to her cheek. “Ashlyn!”

“Get back. Krieger let us in!” I was frozen as the medics arrived at her side, shining lights in her eyes. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it as hard as I could to let her know that I was there. “She’s been knocked unconscious, bring the stretcher!” Arms looped around my waist, pulling me to my feet, backing me away from where they were taking care of the one person who meant more to me than anyone else in the world.

“Ali, I…” I turned my head slowly, finding Tobin standing behind me, one hand on her waist, the other on her forehead. “I didn’t mean… we just collided-”

She didn’t get to finish the thought because my body snapped into action and I threw myself at her. My hands met with the tops of her shoulders, giving her a hard shove backwards. Instantly, the arm was back around my waist, trying to pull me back.

“What the fuck kind of move was that?!” I screamed. I knew that I was way out of line. This was Tobin, our teammate, one of Ashlyn’s best friends, she never would have hurt her on purpose. But all of that logic was drowning under the fact that Ashlyn still hadn’t moved.

“It was an accident,” Tobin insisted, her eyes wide. “Al, I didn’t-“

“Back off, Ali!” Lindsey was at Tobin’s side, putting an arm in front of her shorter teammate, shielding her from me. “It was a freak thing and you know it!”

“Ali stop, Ash wouldn’t want this,” a voice I vaguely recognized as Kristen’s urged in my ear. Then Alex was in front of me, catching my arms that were still flinging out towards Tobin.

“Do you wanna keep trying to fight Tobin over a freak accident, or do you wanna go with your girlfriend in the ambulance?”

Something finally broke through my angry haze. “What?” She pointed behind me, and I turned around. Ashlyn had been transferred onto a stretcher, a neck brace snapped in place. I darted forward to follow the medics off the field.

“Ali!” I turned, confused, and found Marc walking towards me. I gestured fruitlessly after Ashlyn. Surely he couldn’t expect me to keep playing when the love of my life was about to be loaded into the back of an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. I couldn’t do it. “Please,” I begged.

He nodded. “Go. Take care of her, okay? Call me the minute you hear something, alright?”

Relief flooded my body and I nodded back, turning to run after the stretcher.

X

It was just a concussion, the doctor explained. _Just a concussion, _I couldn’t help but mock in my mind. There was nothing _just_ about it, not when she had been knocked out cold on her back on the turf and my mind had been seizing onto the fear that I might never see her beautiful hazel eyes ever again.

By the time they let me in the room, she had come around. She was still foggy, and in a lot of pain, but her eyes were open, and I was willing to thank any deity listening for that. I hurried to the side of her bed and took her hand.

“Oh Ash…”

“There she is, there’s my girl,” she mumbled.

“How are you feeling?”

“Eh, it’s gonna take more than a Portland Thorn to finish me off.” I didn’t answer, just stroked her hair out of her face. “Seriously, it’s a good thing I’m a bonehead-”

“Ash.” My voice broke, and she brought the hand currently attached to an IV up to cup my cheek.

“Hey now, I’m okay. Really Ali, I’m fine.”

“God I was so scared. You don’t… You were out cold, you weren’t moving, I was afraid that…”

“I know. But I’m okay.” She tried to sit up a little straighter but winced as she jostled the muscles in her neck. “What happened anyway? I don’t really remember much after the half if I’m being honest.”

“You got kicked in the head, well kneed really. It was a loose ball, you were both scrambling for it…”

“Me and who?”

Embarrassment bubbled low in my gut. “Tobin,” I whispered, not meeting her eyes.

“What… what happened after that?”

“I uh… I was upset. I was scared and mad, and I lashed out.”

“Ali.”

“I pushed Tobin,” I admitted.

“Aw, my warrior princess came to my defense?” she teased.

I tried to smile, but I felt so rotten about the whole thing I couldn’t. “It… it was bad. I tried to go after her, if Kristin hadn’t grabbed me I would have ended up hurting one of our best friends. She pulled me back, and Lindsey came and got in my face. Alex finally talked some sense into me.”

“I’m really not worth the yellow, Alex.” She was trying to tease me, ease the tension, but instead I burst into tears. “Hey, Al, don’t…”

“I’m sorry! I was just so scared, I was scared that you weren’t gonna wake up, that all of our plans for the future were gone.”

“I know, babe. I know you were scared. I’m sorry.”

I wiped at my cheeks. “Don’t apologize to me, baby.” I leaned forward and pressed the gentlest kiss I could manage to her lips. A knock at the door made us both turn around.

Tobin was in the doorway, her body language hesitant as she watched us. “Is it safe to come in?”

Shame washed through my body and I got up from the edge of Ashlyn’s bed. I walked forward and pulled Tobin into a loose embrace.

“I’m sorry. I… Lindsey was right, I was out of line.”

“You were upset. If it had been reversed, if Chris had gone down… I don’t even know what I would have done.”

“Still. I’m sorry.”

“Hey what about me?”

Tobin pulled away from me and walked over to Ashlyn. “How’re you feeling?”

“Stiff. I’m probably going to be really sore when these meds wear off. But Ali told me what happened-”

“I’m so sorry, Ash.”

“Don’t be, Tobs. It was a freak thing. I’m really okay. Nothing’s broken, just a nasty concussion.”

Tobin hissed sympathetically. “Still.”

“Hey, it’s a great excuse to lay on the couch for the next few days, while a certain someone is at my every beck and call,” she lifted a hand lazily towards me and I took it.

“If you promise to never scare me like that again, I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” She tried to waggle her eyebrows. “Well, you heard her Tobin, don’t let the doorknob hit you on the way out, I’m about to cash in on a naughty nurse fantasy.”

Tobin gave a loud laugh as my cheeks flushed red. “You better be glad you already have a concussion, or I might have slapped you for that one,” I teased.

“Seriously though, I’m glad you’re okay.” Tobin turned to me. “And I’m glad you’ve decided not to go all Rocky Balboa on my ass.”

I smiled and gave her another hug before she headed out, then gently climbed to lay next to Ashlyn in the bed.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Al, and that’s a promise.”


	4. Something's Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra was born and raised on the ranch. She knows the dangers of the Outside, and clings to the beliefs that she's been taught. But can a new arrival to their home change the course of her life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with cults, religion, polygamy, and forced child-marriage. If these are difficult topics for you, please proceed with caution.

**Ali**

The sun slowly made its ascent into the sky, the warm rays caressing my face. I stood at the window, staring out, my arms wrapped around myself. There was something in the air, a stirring in my bones. Something was coming.

Something was going to happen today. I just knew it.

“Alexandra?” I turned to find my mother in the doorway. “Come along. It’s time for chores.” I followed her immediately.

It wasn’t my day to help cook, so I busied myself with watching the little ones until breakfast. Someone bumped my hip as I reached down to give Mallory the doll she had dropped.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see a familiar head of long blonde hair standing beside me and couldn’t stop my smile. “Hi.” Ashlyn and her mother had only come to live here a few months ago. Her life had been so different from mine. While I had grown up here on the ranch, she had lived on the beaches of California with her mom and older brother, attending public school and playing sports, getting into trouble. No one had said as much, but I thought that might be the reason they had come to stay with us. Even though she was fourteen and I was fifteen, it felt as if she was much older than me. Sometimes, when I was tucked into the relative privacy of my bed, I would dream about what it would be like to live Outside. Where I would maybe go to college, explore the world, see boys… But I wasn’t Outside. I was here, and I should work to make myself content with my brethren.

“How did you sleep?”

I shrugged. “The same as always. You?”

She grinned. “Not well. I keep having dreams about McDonalds.” I laughed and nudged her with my elbow. Ashlyn had been pretty vocal to me about not liking the food the ranch provided and missing fast food. She had argued that if God truly loved us and had chosen us over the Outside, then he would have given us a Taco Bell.

_(Not that I really knew what a Taco Bell was. On the few trips I had been allowed to make into the Outside, we hadn’t eaten at one. But if Ashlyn liked it, it must be good.)_

“Why aren’t you helping set the table?” We turned to find one of the men standing behind us.

“Ashlyn was helping me with the little ones, Brother Benjamin.”

He gave me a hard look and stepped closer but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Brother Ezekiel, our prophet, smiled at him. “Surely we should encourage our young women to spend time with the children, as that will someday be their heavenly role to fulfill?”

Brother Benjamin nodded and walked away. Ezekiel turned back to us. “How are you adjusting to life inside the ranch, Ashlyn?”

Her shoulder was so close to mine that I could feel how tense she was. She always seemed uncomfortable when Ezekiel was speaking. “It’s… good, Brother Ezekiel. Clean.”

If he caught the sarcasm coloring her words, his face didn’t show it. “I believe it’s Isaiah that commands us to make ourselves clean and remove all evil from our minds and lives.”

She didn’t say anything, and he turned his attention to me. I couldn’t help but drop my eyes in respect as he did so. He reached out and cupped my cheek. “I’m glad you have chosen to help mentor Ashlyn since her arrival. You’re a good girl, Alexandra, and you will make a wonderful bride of Christ. Do not think I am blind to the efforts you make for the people of our congregation. I’m proud of you.” His words warmed my cheeks, making my heart soar.

A bell rang out, signaling that it was time for our morning meal, and he removed his hand. “Time for breakfast. Come along girls, you don’t want to be late.” He gave one last smile and walked back towards the dining hall.

**Ashlyn**

I forced myself to walk alongside Ali to breakfast, all the while wanting to scream. I hated this place. _The ranch. _Even thinking the name made my stomach upset. Part of me couldn’t believe that my mom had fallen for their absolute bullshit. The other part of me figured that she didn’t actually believe any of it, she just wanted to punish me for getting in trouble.

It hadn’t even been my idea to break into the mall. Justin was the one who saw the door propped open, he had led the way inside. I had been content to test out a new brand of spray paint on one of the hallway walls, he was the one who had brought up the idea of trying to break into one of the electronics stores.

But no one really seemed to care that it wasn’t my idea, that I had suggested we go back to my older brother’s place and steal a bottle of Jack out of his cabinet.

My mom had posted my bail, thrown our shit in the car and started driving.

And now we were here. _On the Inside. _Sometimes I think I would have preferred the inside of a juvenile detention center.

But juvie wouldn’t have Ali.

The first moment I saw her, my heart bloomed in my chest. Even in her weird, floor length dress, she was so pretty. Unnaturally pretty. And it was no time at all before I was having, well, _unnatural _thoughts about her.

I’d had crushes on girls before, but something about Ali was different. She was beautiful, yeah, but also sweet, kind, and funny. She was smart, which was amazing since the schoolbooks on the ranch were pitiful. The science books were an absolute joke, entire chapters of information gone. But she managed to be insightful and witty.

I wiped my hands on my own weird, floor length cotton dress. I hated it. I missed jeans and converse, missed my basketball shorts more than life itself. The only good thing about it was that it helped hide my body from any prying eyes.

I wasn’t sure how to put it into words, but sometimes the men here at the ranch would give me looks that made my skin crawl. I wasn’t used to it; on the Outside (_in the normal world_, I correct myself) I had been a tomboy, dressing like a surfer dude most of the time, downplaying pretty much any feminine aspect of myself. But here, stripped of my snapbacks and my band tee shirts, I had been reminded that I was indeed all woman. As puberty continued, stretching my body until I was towering over most of the other girls and women, it was also making my body fill out, which I hated.

_Funny that you don’t hate the way Ali’s body is filled out._

“Everything okay?” I looked up to see her eyes just a few inches from mine, making my stomach fill with butterflies.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed. “I’m so glad you came here. I’ve never had a best friend,” she said softly.

I squeezed back. “Then the other girls are dumb.”

She just laughed and we filled our plates with food and made our way to one of the long tables. Ali sat next to one of the younger girls, Tierna, and helped her cut up her pancakes into bite sized pieces. I turned my attention to my own breakfast. It would be a long day of chores and studying the bible. I needed all the strength I could get.

**Ali**

That night at chapel, I took my place next to my mother as usual. We sang the hymns, and I closed my eyes, trying to search for that ever-elusive connection with God. Afterwards, Ezekiel stood and began to preach.

Ezekiel was fairly young, only in his late thirties, but he did a good job of steering us. When the previous prophet, Solomon, suddenly took sick and died, God chose Ezekiel. I had only been ten at the time, but it was clear that he was the man who was supposed to be in charge.

I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to the sermon, and chastised myself, forcing myself to tune back in.

“It was the Lord himself who realized that it is not good for man to be alone. And if it’s unholy for man to be alone, when they are spiritually superior to women, what does that mean for a woman who is alone? Surely it can only be ten times as bad!” That made sense I supposed. All of the women on the ranch were married, they weren’t alone, and I could only assume they were happier for it.

“Therefore, when we see one of our sisters has come to maturity but is still alone, it can only be right that this is rectified. Which is why I am so very glad to share the Lord’s plan with you. Something beautiful is to happen tonight.” I sat forward, excited. What was it? What had the Lord told Ezekiel to do? “Tonight, I will take Alexandra as my bride.” I froze, sure I had heard him incorrectly. Me? What other Alexandra would he be talking about?”

His eyes found me on my pew, and he smiled. “She is fifteen, no longer a child, but a woman. And the Lord has spoken to me, whispered in my ear the plans he holds for her, and I am overjoyed, frankly overcome with emotion that he has chosen her to be my wife.” I felt a squeeze to my hand, and I turned to see my mother, her lips stretched wide in a smile. But then I looked past her and saw Ashlyn, sitting across the aisle with her own mother.

Her face was a picture of horror, and she oddly looked as if she would cry. Before I could really ponder why, Ezekiel spoke again. “Alexandra, will you join me up here?” My mother urged me to my feet, and I walked forward. He placed his hands on my shoulders before addressing the congregation. “Will you all join me in praying over Alexandra?”

Everyone bowed their heads, but I kept my eyes partway open. Ashlyn was looking up at me from her spot in the crowd. She looked as if she was going to be sick. Before I knew what was happening, Brother Ezekiel was finished praying, and he asked that the ladies take me away to get ready.

I was changed into a clean dress and my face was scrubbed until it stung. My mother stayed nearby for a few minutes, but eventually joined the other older women in preparing refreshments for after the wedding.

Wedding. My wedding. I was getting married. To Brother Ezekiel of all people. This felt... strange. Too much. Too soon. Why hadn’t anyone asked me what I wanted? I shook my head. It was not my place to question the plans the Lord had revealed unto Brother Ezekiel.

“Will I still call him Brother Ezekiel when he’s my husband?” I met Becky’s eyes in the mirror as she went about putting my hair in thick braids like her own.

“I… expect you’ll have to ask him that.”

“What if I’m not a good wife?” I whispered. I didn’t know Becky all that well since she was three years older, but I needed to get my worries out of my head. She had only been married for a few years, who else could understand how I was feeling?

“Just conduct yourself as instructed by the Bible. Everything else will follow.”

“But…” My breath caught in my chest as a new thought struck me. “Becky, I don’t know how to lay with a man.”

She faltered for a moment, keeping her eyes on my hair. She tied off one of the braids with a hair holder then stepped around, kneeling in front of me. She grasped my hands as she looked deep into my eyes. “The most important thing… Brother Ezekiel will be a good husband. He will take care of you. He’ll… be gentle with you. Or at least he should.”

“The most important thing is that you submit without question.” We both turned to see Hope in the doorway. Her hard eyes stared down at me, and I swallowed nervously. If I was caught by surprise by Brother Ezekiel’s announcement, surely the one person who could understand was Hope, his first wife. It wasn’t uncommon for a man to have more than one wife in our church; there just weren’t enough men to go around. But this seemed different. And Hope didn’t seem happy that I would be joining their family.

“It’s not your job to challenge his word. It’s your job to support and uplift. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner everything will fall into place. And I’ll thank _you,_” she addressed Becky, “not to speculate on my husband’s activities in the bedroom.” Becky gave a quick nod and retook her place behind me, pinning the braids up. “The ceremony will be in ten minutes. Sister Rebecca, leave Alexandra to reflect and pray on her new union.” Becky followed her out of the room.

I swallowed thickly. I was so nervous. I hadn’t prepared myself for this at all.

There was a quiet knock, and I looked over to see Ashlyn slip inside.

“Ashlyn! You’re not supposed to be back here,” I breathed.

“I had to see you. You… you can’t marry him! He’s old enough to be your dad.”

The knot in my stomach tightened. “If this is what the Lord wants-”

“The Lord? Or Brother Ezekiel?” she spat out his name.

“I… there’s nothing I can do.”

“We have to leave. C’mon, we’ll duck out now and start running, we can hide in the woods. We’ll find our way to the nearest town and tell them-” She took in a gasping breath. “They can’t make you marry him.”

“I don’t have a choice,” I argued. “If Brother Ezekiel and the other deacons have decided I’m old enough and mature enough, then it’s going to happen. If not to Brother Ezekiel then-”

Her lips were on mine before I could register that she had moved. Her lips were soft and warm, and I kissed her back without even realizing I was doing so. Her hands, tight around my shoulders, smoothed down my arms then moved to my waist, pulling me closer. I let my hand cup her cheek as her tongue licked its way inside my mouth.

I pulled back, needing to breathe, and we stared at each other. Something inside my chest wanted to lean back in and kiss her, but I didn’t dare. “Ashlyn…” I breathed.

“We could run away,” she urged.

I gently shook my head. “No. I can’t.”

There was a sharp rap on the door, and we sprung apart, my hand coming up to cover my lips as if there was evidence to conceal. The door opened to reveal Hope. Her face was a picture of indifference, but her eyes were cold as she looked at the two of us. “I believe you were instructed to pray.”

“I, I was. Ash, she came to, to pray with me,” I stuttered out.

“It’s time.”

**Ashlyn**

Ali walked dutifully forward, and Hope took her by the elbow, leading her away. I followed, my limbs heavy with disbelief.

Ali was too young to get married. This was crazy, absolute bullshit.

Somehow, I made my way back to where everyone was gathered and sat next to my mom on the hard wooden pew. Brother Ezekiel held up his hands and silence fell. He began to talk about Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, about how beautiful the contract of marriage was. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Ali. She looked as beautiful as ever with her hair braided and twisted away from her face. But even though she was doing her best to smile as he talked on, I could see the current of nervousness running through her.

I couldn’t get the memory of her lips moving against mine out of my mind.

As Ezekiel droned on, the older woman on my other side patted my knee. She leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Doesn’t she make a beautiful bride? Before you know it, that will be you.” My blood ran cold at the thought. I tried to picture myself in the long, white cotton dress, everyone staring at me, an old man pressing his lips to mine, just like Ezekiel was doing to Ali, and it was all I could do not to scream.

When Ezekiel was finished, everyone stood and walked to where light food and drinks had been laid out. I made my way forward so that I was just a few steps to the side of Ali. Everything in me wants to reach out, but I was frozen.

Ali’s mother handed her a cup filled with dark red wine. She took a small sip and immediately grimaced at the flavor, trying to hand it back. Becky placed a hand on her lower back and leaned in to murmur in her ear. If I hadn’t been paying attention, and standing so close, I wouldn’t have heard her tell her that the wine wasn’t necessarily for celebratory purposes, but more about managing pain, and that she should drink everything she was given. I also didn’t miss the flutter of fear that crossed Ali’s face. She tipped the glass back, making herself finish it.

After an hour of everyone congratulating Ezekiel and Ali, he proclaimed the wedding party to be over and said that they would be retiring for the evening and took her hand. She’d now had three glasses of the wine. Her cheeks here pink, and she stumbled slightly over her own feet. He began to lead her from the room, and everything seemed to click in her mind. She looked around wildly, met with a room of people smiling and nodding as if nothing was absolutely, horribly wrong with what was about to happen. She caught my eye, and I had to push down the urge to throw up. She looked so scared, so lost, so alone. And then he gave a barely perceptible tug on her hand, and she slipped from the room.

I swallowed thickly, knowing that once he got Ali back to his rooms, he would consummate the marriage. I knew that as scared as Ali was, she didn’t have any clue what was about to happen, as no one had told her the ins and outs as to what happens between a man and a woman. She’d asked me once, and I’d laughed it off, flustered at the idea of talking about sex with a person I couldn't help but imagine having it with.

She had no idea what was coming.

But I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually reeeeaaally dig this storyline, I hope you guys did too! Also, is it a little painfully obvious that I was raised SUPER conservative Christian lol? Writing the religious parts was way easy haha


	5. Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn has made a horrible mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this chapter is inspired by The Reynolds Pamphlet/Burn from the musical Hamilton. Sorry for being musical theatre trash in the soccer fandom lol.

Ashlyn woke in complete darkness, the curtains pulled tight over the windows. She rolled over onto her back, staring blankly.

She missed her bed. She missed the sheets and blankets that she and Ali had picked out, missed the warmth of Ali next to her, missed the smell of her wife’s shampoo and perfume marking their pillows.

Objectively, she knew their guest bed was comfortable. When friends and family stayed over they always said as much. But after a few nights of sleeping in here her back and neck were aching as if she had been sleeping on a concrete floor. But then again, maybe that had more to do with the fact that she spent the nights curled up as tight as she could get, seeking any sort of comfort possible.

She finally stumbled out of bed, not caring enough to make it up behind her. When she walked into the living room, Ali was sitting in the middle of their couch, eyes trained on the TV.

“Good morning,” Ashlyn tried, but was she received no response. She continued through the room, almost to the kitchen when Ali’s quiet voice cut through the silence.

“It broke today.”

“Oh.” She turned around slowly, her eyes darting to the screen that sure enough, was filled with pictures of her and Ali throughout the years. She couldn’t hear what was being said because the TV was muted. Toni’s picture was layered over their collage and Ashlyn watched as Ali flinched. “Ali…”

“I’m… I’m gonna go for a run, I think. I can’t sit here.”

“We have therapy at three, right?”

Ali didn’t turn around as she walked to their bedroom to grab her sneakers. “I guess.”

Ashlyn went to make herself a cup of coffee, hearing the door open and shut as she did. She came back to the couch and grabbed the remote, rewinding the news program and unmuting the TV.

“In shocking news this morning, US Women’s National Team star, Ashlyn Harris, has come clean to the New York Times about cheating on her long time partner and wife, fellow national teammate, Ali Krieger. In an exclusive with Jenn Rivins, the soccer player bared all about the affair, stating: ‘It has come to the point where I can’t lie any longer. I’ve always wanted nothing more than to be open and honest with my fans and the world, and that includes when I fail. I have failed as a wife and hurt the people I love most.’ Harris and Krieger met through US Women’s soccer over a decade ago, and were married last year.”

The screen brought up several videos that Ashlyn had taken of them for social media, little goofy things that she had wanted to share with the world, to show just how much she loved Ali Krieger.

_How had things gotten so fucked up?_

The newscaster returned. “In the news article, Harris names her mistress as fellow Orlando Pride teammate, Toni Pressley, saying that it happened for the first time while Krieger was out of town helping care for her father after he was in a car accident. At the end she insisted that she knew that she had made a mistake, and that she was looking to the future with the hope that she could prove to those around her that this one mistake was not indicative of her true nature.”

“That’s heart breaking, Maureen,” her male cohost commented, and Ashlyn turned off the TV. Her stomach was aching, her coffee untouched. She couldn’t believe she had let it get to this point, couldn’t believe she had ever crossed that line to begin with. She retrieved her phone from the guest room, looking at it for the first time today.

She scrolled through the notifications, hundreds, maybe thousands of people on different social media platforms itching to tell her just how much of a worthless, cheating bitch she was. The texts were there too, some of them standing out from others.

**Gram: Keep your head up today. I love you**

**Allie: Pookie. You need to call me.**

**Allie: This is a joke, right??? This can’t possibly be true**

**Pinoe: How the fuck did you think THIS was how to handle this? Call me if you haven't been fucking murdered already**

**Tobin: Hey dude. Call me today if you need anything, k?**

**Hope: You’ve lost your goddamn mind, Harris**

There were emails from her agents, begging her to talk to Ali, get her to reconsider. They told her that all of the national news outlets were already clamoring to have her on for an interview, but it would be easiest to spin this if Ali agreed to go on with her, showing that they were staying together, that Ali was working on forgiving her. Ashlyn pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, wishing not for the first time that she could just disappear.

The guestroom door creaked open, making her look up. Ali stood in the doorway, her skin glistening with sweat. She cleared her throat, unable to look Ashlyn in the face. “Kyle’s coming. He should be here at around twelve.”

“Okay.” She sniffed. “Alex-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ali,” she corrected, “My uh… my agent emailed me. 60 minutes wants to do an interview.”

“Do whatever you want, Ashlyn. You always have.”

The jab made her chest ache. “No… they want both of us to go on. Just… to get both sides of the story, to see that I’m trying to make amends-”

Ali snorted. “Both sides of the story? I don’t know what I have to offer. I’m just the fucking idiot who trusted that if I left the state you wouldn’t fuck anyone else. What do they want to hear? That you didn’t even tell me until _she _threatened to tell me herself? That looking at you feels like I’m being stabbed in the chest? That I cry myself to sleep every single goddamn night?”

Ashlyn’s eyes began to well up and Ali shook her head as they spilled over. “If those tears are for my benefit, you can just stop.”

“They’re not for anyone’s benefit!”

“Everything you do is for someone else’s benefit. You’ve always been… obsessed with how people see you, your image, your… legacy! But then you turn around do shit like this? It would be almost funny if you hadn’t ruined our lives.”

“Ali, what can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it. Anything, I promise.”

“Your promises don’t mean anything to me anymore.” She took a step closer to Ashlyn, who could see that she was on the verge of crying. “I’m not doing 60 Minutes. You don’t get to use me to clear your name. I’m not going to play the good wife, standing in the background, showing everyone that if I forgave you, then they can too. Because I haven’t forgiven you! And I… I don’t know if I can. Right now it just… it hurts. God, it hurts! Do you get that?”

“Yes, and I’m-”

“No. I really don’t think you do. Everything that I worked for, the name I made myself, the world cups, the Olympic medals, none of it fucking matters, because now every time someone looks at me I’ve been reduced to the woman who couldn’t keep her wife in check.”

“Ali, no-”

“Was there something about her? Do you actually have a connection with Toni or was she just the first woman you were able to bring home? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not enough for you? Why did you do this?”

“It’s not, Ali you are everything to me-”

“Then why didn’t you act like it?” she screamed through the tears that were now falling fast and thick. “God, why… why did you do this?”

Ashlyn didn’t have an answer for her.

“I’m not doing any interviews. Just because you brought the entire fucking world into our bed doesn’t mean I have to tell them how I’m feeling about it. They have no right to my mind or my heart.” She wiped at her cheeks. “I’m going to shower. We need to leave for therapy at 2:30.”

“I’m so sorry, Ali,” Ashlyn whispered, and Ali paused.

“Maybe someday that will mean something. Until then, we’ll keep going to therapy, and you can keep sleeping in here. Maybe someday it won’t hurt to look at you.” And without another word, she left, leaving Ashlyn to cave in on herself, her sobs crescendoing to howls that reverberated through the house that had once been so full of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I can't see Ashlyn ever cheating on Ali. Like, I think she would die first, their romance is one for the storybooks


End file.
